Finding out you’re unexpectedly pregnant can be overwhelming and scary. It’s normal to feel confused and unsure about what to do next. At Birthright, we recommend that you take some time to process your feelings and consider your pregnancy options.
When people are in crisis, a quick decision seems very attractive. Afterall, you’d really like your life to get back to normal and for the problems to disappear. However, decisions made in haste sometimes come back to haunt us. We encourage you instead to take a deep breath and gather as much information as possible to make an informed decision that is right for both you and your baby.
Support centres like Birthright are available to help women in your situation make informed decisions about their pregnancy options. You may be feeling a wide range of emotions and questions about what to do. At Birthright, we’ll sit down with you and help you sort through everything you’re feeling and thinking about. Having an opportunity to talk with the experienced volunteers you’ll find at Birthright can bring you comfort, relief, and even hope.
Just as your situation is unique, your solutions may also be unique. We’d like to work with you to explore your pregnancy options and help you to create a plan that suits your needs. Our volunteers are knowledgable, compassionate, and can provide you with valuable information about your pregnancy options.
In general, there are three main options for dealing with unplanned pregnancy: carrying your baby to term and parenting, carrying your baby to term and adoption, and having an abortion. Both of the first two options give your baby a chance to live, and give you the opportunity to make a positive, life-changing decision for both of you. After nine months of pregnancy, many women feel a strong connection with their baby. Parenting allows you to build on that bond and move forward together as a family. Adoption gifts your child with a loving family when you aren’t able to parent. In contrast, abortion ends both your pregnancy and the life of your unborn baby.
Dealing with all of these pregnancy options may make you feel like you’re navigating through a sea of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Birthright is here to guide you through these options for unplanned pregnancy in Victoria, BC.
Here are three options to consider for an unplanned pregnancy
Parenting can be both challenging and rewarding. Being responsible for this tiny new life is often an intimidating prospect. Everything is so new for first-time mothers, from bathing a new baby to soothing a fussy one. Luckily, nature provides new mothers with nine months to prepare for the role. And carrying your child close to your heart, feeling her movements, creates a sense of mother-love in most women. Becoming a parent is an ongoing process of learning and adjusting. No one gets motherhood right immediately, but for women who choose it, motherhood can be an incredible journey that will change your life in ways almost unimaginable.
As a parent, you will watch your child grow into a unique individual with their own personality, interests, and talents. You’ll find that you also grow along with your child. For many women, love for their child makes all the challenges worthwhile. If your baby’s father is in the picture, encourage him to be involved as well. His involvement can be a source of support for you and provide an invaluable relationship for your child.
Whether your baby’s father is involved or not, don’t be afraid to reach out to others for help. Surround yourself with a circle of supportive others to guide you as you become a parent. Talk to your family and friends about your situation and ask for their help. Consider joining a parenting group or seeking out other, more experienced mothers who can offer guidance and advice. A supportive circle of family and friends will help you to provide a loving and stable home for your child.
At Birthright, we understand that parenting can be daunting, especially for those who didn’t plan to parent. Birthright will walk with you on your journey from pregnancy to motherhood, providing a friend you can rely on for as long as you want our involvement.
Placing your baby for adoption may be a good option if you feel unprepared to parent. Adoption is a legal process that transfers parental rights from the birth parents to the adoptive parents. While it may be difficult for birth mothers to give up their child, many say they find a sense of peace in knowing they are providing a loving family for their baby. Adoption arrangements can vary, and as the birth mother, you have a say in choosing the adoptive family and the level of contact you will have with them.
There are different types of adoption, including open, semi-open, and closed adoption. In an open adoption, birth parents and adoptive parents have ongoing contact through letters, pictures, and sometimes visits, while in a closed adoption, there is no contact and the adopting family may not even know your name.
There are also less formal arrangements where a relative or close family friend takes on the responsibility of raising your child. This option allows your child to stay within the family and cultural community while receiving care from someone you know and trust. It also allows you to have a role in your child’s life even if you’re not parenting. You might want to explore the possibilities for alternate arrangements with loved ones as you ponder your pregnancy options.
Adoption and alternate parenting arrangements can be challenging, but they can also give you and your child a comfortable and bright future. Although Birthright Victoria does not provide adoption counselling, we’re happy to refer you to a qualified professional and to provide Birthright support throughout your pregnancy.
Abortion is a third option for dealing with unplanned pregnancy, although in our experience, most women considering it really don’t want to have an abortion. Often, women feel they have no other choice. Finances, education or career plans, and relationship issues may all lead them to consider abortion.
If you’re considering abortion, try to look at the bigger picture. Abortion seems like the simplest solution, but it does not consider the well-being of the baby you’re carrying, nor does it address any future regrets you may have. Frankly speaking, women who have had an abortion do not usually talk about it because they don’t feel good about it. An unplanned pregnancy is a crisis in the short-term, especially impacting education or career plans. In the longer term, there are usually other solutions. They may not be as quick or as easy as abortion, but they also don’t leave you with that sick feeling inside.
If you are contemplating abortion because someone is pressuring you, take a another look at your situation. Relationships in which one partner pressures the other rarely survive. If you choose abortion to please your partner, guilt and resentment may eat away at your relationship until there is nothing left.
Don’t want to have an abortion but feel you have no other choice? You may be suffering from tunnel vision. There are always other choices. The challenge is in finding them and in making decisions that you can truly live with.
Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy can be a complicated and overwhelming experience. It‘s easy to get tunnel vision and only see one solution. At Birthright, we can brighten that tunnel and help you to see other possibilities. Why not seek support from an experienced Birthright volunteer today?
Birthright Victoria is here to support and guide pregnant women and new mothers. We are committed to helping you make the best decision for you and your baby. If you are interested in exploring your pregnancy options. we would be happy to discuss them with you. All you need do is click on the link below and contact us immediately.
Find out more about your unplanned pregnancy options in Victoria, BC today!